The world is a mess but my hair is perfect

Helloooo,

I've no idea why I havnt posted in so long I've just been busy for once I suppose .

Is it wise to tell somebody from your past that you miss them so much it hurts and they were the best thing that ever happend to you?

If so how do you do this without sounding like a complete tool??

Chris x

Oh my days Spain was amazing! I finally got back this afternoon and am looking uber bronzed, healthy and relaxed if I say so myself. All I'm going to say is that I had the best time (she was in her 30's and I pretty much moved in with her for about 2 weeks, that was interesting!!!). Oh and I managed to convince my Dad to drive my car back when he comes home in a few weeks so I got to fly and avoid the drive, which in all honesty was a total nightmare. There was only one embarrasing incident whereby I got totally smashed in a little beach cafe-bar, couldnt find my way to a taxi so rang H (in the UK) from a callbox and asked her to come and pick me up! Apparently I also cried and said she was the only person I've ever loved, mortifying, especially as I don't even remember it.

My new coloured contacts were waiting for me when I arrived home and they're the most dazzling true sapphire colour ever and I adore them.

Have just got back in from a 35 mile bike ride and am enjoying a lovely British cup of tea and feeling ridiculously relaxed and content .

Mission accomplished x

Ok fuck it, I'm still feeling miserable and bored and I've come to the conclusion it's because absolutely nothing exciting is happening for the rest of April. Therefore on a whim this afternoon I've decided to go back to Spain already. I rang my dad who said he would be more than happy to have me. I can't be bothered to wait for a flight so am going to drive it, I leave in an hour and shan't be back until after May 1st. Feeling happy already . I have 2 packs of ciggis, a 6 pack of coca cola, the best of Dire Straights and a full tank a petrol!

Wishing you all a good April

x

Well I'm having one of my wierd weeks, these don't happen very often but when they come around (once or twice a year) I always find myself searching for complete solace. I don't know how to explain it other than I guess it's the universe's way of flagging up my ridiculously easy, shallow and somewhat pointless existence.

These occasional irritating and seemingly spontaneous bouts of inward reflection always bother me. I'm dealing with it in the usual way though by keeping my head down, turning my phone off, avoiding absolutely everyone outside of my immediate family and drinking copius amounts of gin and tonic.

I don't really know what else to say, that's why I havn't been posting of late because I don't like people to know that I'm anything more complicated than the shallow, carefree and comfortable guy that I am 99 percent of the time.

Normal service will be resumed shortly of that I am sure, just in a wierd place at the moment.

Hope everyones top notch!

I can't believe I havn't posted on here in ages! I actually don't remember doing the last post as I was pretty smashed at the time . Spain was amazing as usual and generally I'm spending my time being totally shattered because I'm still putting myself through that ridiculous training programme, it's starting to show some results though which is nice .

It's that time of year again when the crazy old woman from one of the village boutiques (her shop sponsers our team) gets our entire cricket team to model her clothes (and unfortunately she usually makes a calender). I would post the photo she did of me last year but it's uber embarrasing (I look like a poser twat), but anyway my phone is staying off for a while as I'm not getting involed this year (at least I will try my upmost not to).

I'm not going to talk about 'Simba' because she probably deserves an entire post.

I'm also now completely bored of being single so am writing out a list of criteria for my ideal girlfriend before I go out looking. Anyway this is where I'm at so far:

Age 20-32
Blonde
Blue/Green eyes
Not uber uber skinny
Ditzy and prone to hilarious remarks
University student, graduate or lady of leisure (Preferred haha)
Gym goer
Not averse to the odd smoke
Enjoys the Indie scene
Can help me shop for clothes
Isn't too clingy
Doesn't make a big deal about me having female friends
Doesn't read red top newspapers
Enjoys cups of tea

That's about it at the moment, if anyone has any suggestions then feel free to let me know

Hope everyone is top notch

Chris x

...put on your red shoes and dance the blues, do dooo do dooo doo doo.

I like wine alot.

Hey everyone sorry for not posting, I've been at my Dads in Spain, am feeling pretty tanned! I'll do a long post later on as I've literally just walked through the door. Two bits of news, whilst in Spain I realised that I want Simba again and my obliques are coming back!

Hope everyones good

x

Finally I managed to have a totally wild weekend which ended with me stood infront of the mirror after getting out of the shower wondering where my nice sculpted body had gone. I jumped on the scales and was stunned that somehow I'd put on a stone since before Christmas.

I rushed to the Spa on Sunday afternoon and nabbed myself a personal trainer (they are included in the membership luckily) who started by sitting me down and asking me a few questions, then watched me exhaust myself on all the machines and weights before I disappeared for a swim and a sauna.

Upon re-appearing I sat down with Andy who had written me out a routine. I'd told him to make it as brutal and time consuming as possible (it's not as if I have anything else to do at the moment), and I'm determined to have a six-pack again by the summer.

'By the way, you need to quit smoking.'
'Ummm I don't smoke actually.'
'I'm a personal trainer, I've just watched you working out for the last hour and a half and I can tell you smoke, that and I see you standing outside the resturante everyday with a coffee and a cigarette'.
'Fair point'.

Anyway so I have a new brutal routine which I started today. It basically alternates daily between 2 hours of free-weights and 2 and a half hours of cardio,eg: weights Monday, cardio Tuesday, weights Wendesday and so on, then every couple of weeks I'm re-assesed and get a new routine if required. Sounds easy but I'm already exhausted. I almost fell asleep in the jacuzzi afterwards this morning and right now every single muscle in my body seems to be screaming 'What the Fuck!!!'

I'm looking forward to the first cardio session tomorrow though, and apparently Andy is going to workout a decent diet plan for me which is nice, although it's kind of annoying that he's always lurking around the place. He told me that if he sees me slacking that he'll definately come over and tell me off in-front of everyone. As for the smoking, well I have 2 cigarettes left and I'm planning on savouring those then not buying anymore. I'm suspecting it's going to be difficult though .

It better all be worth it. Oh and oddly I've discovered that Marilyn Manson on the i-pod helps in the gym ALOT which is odd because I don't like that kind of music usually!

This guy is either completely blazed or being totally honest, he reminds me of one of my mates sooo much haha, either way I adore him!

Some of you may remember that in a previous incarnation of my blog I would occasionally write about some part time work I used to do whilst in my first year at uni which for want of a better word lead to me being a 'night time street photographer' or scum paparazzi as everybody else puts it.

I have a friend who does this for a living (a very good living actually) and I started out by tagging along with him then kind of fell into it. It was something I did on a sporadic basis and never took completely seriously. Anyway photography mate came back from London yesterday and randomly called in for a cup of tea and chat and asked why I wasn't interested anymore.

Basically it was too hard. Firstly unless you live in London (he does) then people who are worth chasing only come around once a week or so. Secondly if you do take a trip to London (I used to to this occasionally and go around with him) you are competing with professionals with better brains, contacts, kit and experience in a city which you don't know your way around particularly well. Even if an opportunity presented itself or you got access to places which gave an advantage (like when I had an all-access pass to the Badminton horse trials) then you had to compete with private security (namely on that occasion, extremely large, tweed suit wearing beefcakes in a land-rover defender), I think I actually posted a picture of them a while back. On another occasion I drove photography mate to a place about 20 miles from my house (we'd been there once before) where an A-list couple lived with their new baby. This I was assured would be easy. None of the professionals would be there, we had the whole day to hang around and one blurry photograph of mum or dad even walking to the shop would be worth something and ALOT of money if they had baby with them.

Anyway, upon arrival in the tiny countryside village in the middle of no-where it soon became apparent that it wasn't going to be easy at all. This place had it's problems aswell, namely the fact that everybody there was fiercely defensive of said family. I remember we popped into the little village pub for some lunch, dumped our kit on the bar and ordered whilst everybody there scowled at us.

'So have the happy couple been out and about today?' matey enquired happily.
'If they had nobody here would tell YOU people, YOU people are wasting you're time here' says barman.

We quickly scoffed down our meals and left, then sat in the car in the church carpark messing about with the cameras and waiting for any sign of them. They didn't appear and we left after a few hours because a scary looking old lady had started shouting abuse at us through the car window then proceeded to walk past every 5 minutes and stare at us.

A similar thing happend in Cardiff Bay (with a different person) the last time I went out. Although I believe that we were moved on by the police and told if we entered the bay again without permission for our cameras that we would be arrested (we didn't argue or test this theory, although I was assured by matey that he and all the other professionals would most definately have done so).

In my short stint as a paparazzi I only sold 3 photographs and even they went through an agency. As such I think I only made about £1800 which just covered the cost of one of my lenses let alone any of the other gear, money for information, petrol, cigarettes or coffees.

Anyway, after explaining this to photography mate he understood and was pleased that somebody actually realised how bloody difficult their job is (whether you agree with it or not). He then went on to make me an offer for some of my gear which I accepted. As such I should have enough money to cure my boredom for a few weeks and as a result I'm happy, that and the sun is shining yey!